Today we woke up in what felt like a new apocalyptic reality. There are new rules. The country you thought you lived in is not the one that exists. If you feel adrift and hopeless, psychology can help give structure to the immediate future – I feel strongly that some of us are in mourning, and must go through the six stages of grief.
We are numb. We can’t believe it. How can this be happening. America, what have you done. This isn’t real. Wake me up.
Believe it. We cannot be surprised. Shock is the reaction that forms out of a feeling of disbelief, leaving a feeling of being temporarily numb. It is a defense mechanism that serves to protect you from being overwhelmed. We are just now entering a world that has always been there, albeit under the surface. If thus far you have escaped the terror of violent misogyny or the gross unfairness of racial profiling, if you don’t have those stories in your family history or your friend group, count yourself either fortunate or part of the problem. The Americans who voted for this man (I cannot bring myself to type his name yet) have always been our neighbors, largely ignored. Those of us who live in liberal bubbles can’t imagine that this happened, because we’ve never been around people who dreamed of this. How many cities can you name in those middle states? I’ll tell you – it’s the cities in the blue counties and that’s it. In North Carolina, red counties are plentiful and real. They finally feel heard, and that is a powerful motivator. White supremacy in America is real. It is completely historically consistent to follow a black POTUS with an overt racist. Voting rights have been quietly gutted for years. The reasons go on.
Millions of white people kept their mouths shut, went into the booth, checked over their shoulders and voted Trump. – @scottmelker
What we are watching is the definition of sexism. A woman can be clearly more qualified and leagues ahead of the competition and STILL lose. – @ShaanMKhan
At a Trump rally in Manhattan and thousands are chanting “We hate Muslims, we hate blacks, we want our great country back”. Disgusting. – @SRowntreeNews
Do not be shocked. If you are a young black man or a woman who has been sexually assaulted, you always knew that this was our reality. Please forgive us for not listening to you enough. Please forgive us for only now joining you in your fear.
#NotMyPresident. Election is the first step to impeachment. Let’s sue and have a recount. He didn’t win the popular vote, shouldn’t that count for something?
Denial is a defense mechanism that the individual employs to deny that a loss actually happened. The person in denial acts as though nothing has happened or denies that what she has heard is actually true. In effect, she closes her mind to what has occurred. I’m guilty of this. Trump has bragged about sexual assault and gotten away with it, even been rewarded. We’ve seen him combust over the smallest insult and frustration. Is it too much to think that he’ll self-destruct within the first few weeks or months of his presidency? It’s not impossible. But this kind of thinking keeps us stuck in this stage. We are enduring the apparent loss of our hope for the country, the hope of breaking the glass ceiling, hope for millions of minorities of all kinds.
Clinton ran the best campaign she could,but you can’t fight centuries of ingrained bigotry in 18 mths, even when you’re the best
#imwithher – @MShrayber
Street vendor here just yelled, “hey guys, at least now it will be legal to grab pussy!” And high-fived a group of men who laughed. – @prachigu
I have a scarf on. Passed by someone on the platform today and he says, “Your time’s up, girlie.” – @mehreenkasana
Nebraska voted today to reinstate the death penalty. Our country is jolting backwards. – @sallykohn
Democrats grossly underestimated the racism and sexism of the American people, and the degree to which this country was full of a dark and rotten hatred. Click the links you can’t bear; read the stances of the newly elected officials. Knowledge is power, and no one ever saw an opportunity with their head in the sand.
Anger typically occurs after denial in the grief phase, although it may occur at any point during the grieving process (sound familiar?). In this phase, emotions that may have been pent up for quite some time tend to erupt, and the frustration at having little or no control over circumstances may be directed toward anyone who gets in the way. And there are a lot of people in the way. There is so much anger today: toward the Republican party, minority voters who “didn’t show up”, white voters who did, rural America, third-party voters, abstainers, other Democrats for not running, entire states, the media, toward ourselves for believing we were in the clear and not sprinting to the end. Don’t ignore anger – it either is suppressed into apathy or it balloons inside you until you shatter into a thousand pieces.
The numbers don’t lie: If you voted for Gary Johnson or Jill Stein, you voted for Trump. You were told. Don’t ever tell yourself different. – @RachelleLefevre
Trump will be on trial for child rape in December. Pence advocates for electro shock therapy on gays. This is who you voted for. – @K_A_DD
In Michigan, Electionland received multiple reports of poll workers wrongly telling voters they needed an ID to vote. – @joelwolfram
As I’m stopped at a gas station this morning, a group of guys yell over: “Time to get out of this country, Apu!” Day 1. – @ManikRathee
Your anger is valid. Don’t let anyone tell you you’re overreacting. Christians, be especially aware of this – you will be blamed. You will be stereotyped. You will be hated. You will be told you are putting too much emphasis on politics and divisiveness; you will be boxed in with those who decided to vote for the man who is the opposite of what we believe in. I can’t think of a single worse thing for Christianity than Donald Trump as President. Don’t be silenced. Be vocal about the true meaning of your faith (peace. love. hope. acceptance. sacrifice. forgiveness.) and don’t be afraid to say yup, I am a Christian. I did not vote for this man and I am devastated too. You’re allowed to be furious. On to the next.
Bargaining is the desperation, the pleas. We try to make deals with God and the universe to regain what we have lost. We’re clinging to the vision of the bright future we were promised. Although this didn’t come out of nowhere, it seemed to, and that makes it worse. Hillary is not going to be our Madame President. We may blame ourselves for not canvassing, for believing the polls (how could big data, that trusty vague behemoth, ever fail?), for laughing at SNL skits instead of doing everything we could to convince our families and friends that this was serious. We may promise to get more involved in politics and become a better citizen if only, if only, if only there was some way to reverse this.
When we finally accept the inevitable and realize that our efforts of avoidance are futile, a period of depression generally sets in. It finally sinks in that we have no control in preventing the outcome, and we may turn away or pick fights with loved ones, believing that there is no one who can understand the depths of our hurt, or no one who can help us feel better. There are tears. There is the swallowing of bile and panic attacks that hit in the night, when your throat is dry and you want to wake up but you can’t. Think this sounds extreme? It’s real.
There are no winners. Half the country has openly voted for the oppression of LGBT’s, minorities’, and women’s rights. – @jillbidenveep
I just want to remind everyone that we are looking at a very close race with a presidential candidate who was endorsed by the KKK. – @RashidaJones
Never gonna forget how it feels to know my that when my country had to choose between a woman and an actual monster for president, it went – @laura_hudson
I think knowing that everyone but straight white dudes will be in serious danger with a Trump presidency has made any/all jokes impossible. – @annetdonohue
This is truly depressing and an international tragedy. When you start imagining all the repercussions this will have for years and generations, it’s almost too much to bear. But bear it we will. We must, in order to finally reach the last stage.
Acceptance is within reach when we’ve learned to deal with the reality of the situation. We will have passed through some or all of the previous phases of grief, and we can now move on to taking action. Acceptance is necessary to take action. I will repeat: acceptance is necessary to take action. If we remain in any of the previous phases, we will not be as effective as we need to be. It’s day one and we have a long, difficult road ahead. Mr. Rogers said, when there’s a tragedy, look for the helpers. If any good can come out of this situation, it’s that we finally see our country for real, with all its brokenness. It is still a beautiful and wonderful place. There is kindness and hope available. It has not been handed to us so we must fight for it together. Words and actions are now more important than ever, so it’s crucial that we are intentional with our next steps.
Should President-elect Donald Trump attempt to implement his unconstitutional campaign promises, we’ll see him in court. – @ACLU
Get your IUD. If you have light periods, opt for a Paragard, which can last 10-12 years. Get your birth control that will outlast Trump. – @grimalkinrn
2018 is vital if we want to preserve whats left of our country after 2 years of Trump. VOTE IN MID TERMS – @zacksekuler
To all the little girls watching, never forget you are valuable, powerful and deserving of every opportunity in the world. – @HillaryClinton
I am not moving to Canada, not surprised by white supremacists & misogynists, and not afraid of Donald Trump. We have got to get to work. – @anildash
Action. Action is next, but not immediately. Take the time to go through the process, and in the meantime, educate yourself. Stay calm in the face of the storm; our weakness ultimately makes us stronger. There is a peace and joy available to anyone who wants it. Fear and anxiety come from not knowing what’s next, but day by day we’re going to learn. And we’re going to get organized, and we’re going to get ready, because we’re not going to let this break us. We’re not going to go back to our small lives, right? This is big, and it’s just beginning, and we need you. Don’t cheat us of your contribution; turn these feelings into actions and give us what you’ve got.